15 Common Phrases that crush performance

Sep 24

As leaders, our words can shape the experience, performance, and morale of our teams. Sometimes, even with the best intentions, certain phrases can come across as demotivating or disempowering. Fortunately, with a few simple reframes, we can transform these moments into opportunities for growth and connection. In this post, we’ll explore 15 common phrases managers use, the unintended negative impacts they may have, and how to reframe them for a more positive, empowering effect.

Performance crusher #1

Phrase: “I’ll take care of it myself.” The Unintended impact: This can make the employee feel incapable or like their work isn’t valued, undermining their confidence.
Reframe: “Let’s work on this together so you can take the lead next time.” Intended impact: This empowers the employee by providing guidance while showing trust in their ability to eventually handle the task independently.

Performance Crusher #2

Phrase: “I don’t care how you do it, just get it done.”
Unintended impact: This can create confusion or anxiety, leaving the employee unsure of the best approach or overwhelmed by the lack of direction.
Reframe: “I trust your approach—let me know if you need any resources or support to get it done.”
Intended impact: This conveys trust in the employee’s judgment while offering support, fostering both autonomy and confidence.

Performance Crusher #3

Phrase: “Why didn’t you think of that?”
Unintended impact: This can feel accusatory, making the employee defensive or embarrassed, stifling creativity.
Reframe: “Let’s brainstorm together on how we can approach this in the future.”
Intended impact: This encourages collaboration and problem-solving, showing that mistakes are part of learning and innovation.

Performance Crusher #4

Phrase: “This is not good enough.”
Unintended impact: This blunt feedback can damage morale, leaving the employee feeling demoralized or incompetent.
Reframe: “You’ve made progress. Let’s refine this part to make it even better.”
Intended impact: This acknowledges the employee’s effort while encouraging continuous improvement in a supportive way.

Performance Crusher #5

Phrase: “I expected more from you.”
Unintended impact: This can feel like a personal attack, causing feelings of failure and disappointment without offering a clear path for improvement.
Reframe: “I know you’re capable of more, and I’m here to help you reach that level.”
Intended impact: This expresses belief in the employee’s potential and offers support, motivating them to meet higher expectations with confidence.

Performance Crusher #6

Phrase: “If you don’t like it, leave.”
Unintended impact: This is a dismissive response that can make employees feel unappreciated and disposable, potentially leading to disengagement or turnover.
Reframe: “I want you to enjoy your work. Let’s discuss what might improve your experience here.”
Intended impact: This shows you care about the employee’s well-being and are open to improving their work environment, which fosters loyalty and engagement.

Performance Crusher #7

Phrase: “I thought you would know better.”
Unintended impact: This can come across as judgmental, making the employee feel inadequate or humiliated.
Reframe: “Let’s review this area together so you can feel more confident moving forward.”
Intended impact: This provides constructive guidance while helping the employee gain confidence in their knowledge and skills.

Performance Crusher #8

Phrase: “It appears that you’re the only one struggling with this.”
Unintended impact: This isolates the employee and can make them feel incompetent compared to others, damaging their confidence.
Reframe: “Others have faced similar challenges, and we’ve found ways to work through them. Let’s talk.”
Intended impact: This normalizes the challenge, reassuring the employee they’re not alone, while offering support in finding solutions.

Performance Crusher #9

Phrase: “It’s your job, I need you to fix this.”
Unintended impact: This can feel like a blame-shift, leaving the employee overwhelmed or unsupported in handling the situation.
Reframe: “You’re in charge of this, but I’m here to support you in finding a solution.”
Intended impact: This emphasizes ownership while also offering backup and resources, boosting the employee’s confidence in managing challenges.

Performance Crusher #10

Phrase: “That’s just not how we do things here.”
This can make employees feel like their ideas are not valued, stifling creativity and innovation.
Reframe: “Our current process works well, but I’m open to new ideas. What do you suggest?”
Intended impact: This encourages collaboration and shows that new ideas are welcomed, while maintaining alignment with existing processes.

Performance Crusher #11

Phrase: “You should know this by now.”
Unintended impact: This can come across as condescending, leaving the employee feeling incompetent or embarrassed.
Reframe: “Let’s review this together to ensure you’re fully confident moving forward.”
Intended impact: This approach builds trust and confidence, showing you’re invested in their learning and success.

Performance Crusher#12

Phrase: “I don’t have time for this right now.”
Unintended impact: This may signal to employees that their concerns or contributions aren’t important, causing disengagement.
Reframe: “This is important. Let’s set up a time to discuss it when I can give it my full attention.”
Intended impact: This reassures employees that their issues matter and will be addressed thoughtfully, maintaining trust and engagement.

Performance Crusher #13

Phrase: “I need this done ASAP, please.”
Unintended impact: This can increase stress without clarity on priorities, leading to burnout or reduced quality of work.
Reframe: “This task is a priority. Let’s talk about how we can adjust your workload to make it happen.”
Intended impact: This provides clear guidance on priorities while showing support for managing workload, reducing stress and improving focus.

Performance Crusher #14

Phrase: “I see you’re trying, but you’re not meeting expectations.”
Unintended impact: This can demoralize employees, making them feel like failures without offering a path to improvement.
Reframe: “Let’s look at where you can improve, and I’ll support you in reaching your goals.”
Intended impact: This offers constructive feedback with a focus on growth and support, helping employees feel motivated to improve.

Performance Crusher #15

Phrase: “You need to be more like [another employee].”
Unintended impact: This comparison can lead to resentment or feelings of inadequacy, damaging morale and relationships.
Reframe: “I’ve noticed [specific strengths] in you, and I’d like to help you develop them further.”
Intended impact: This acknowledges the employee’s unique strengths and encourages personal growth without diminishing their self-worth.

Bonus:

Performance Crusher #16

Phrase: “I’m disappointed…”
Unintended impact: This can create feelings of guilt or shame in the employee, making them feel like they’ve let you down on a personal level rather than focusing on the issue at hand.
Reframe: “Here’s where we missed the mark, and I know we can work together to get it right next time.”
Intended impact: This shifts the focus from disappointment to constructive conversation about imporvement, fostering a sense of collaboration and problem-solving instead of guilt.

Effective communication is at the heart of strong leadership. By rethinking how we phrase our feedback and guidance, we can transform even tough conversations into opportunities for growth while dodging a whole lot of frustration. The goal is to help our teams feel understood, valued, and supported while maintaining a high-performance culture. As leaders, aligning our intentions with our impact not only elevates our relationships but also strengthens the overall working environment.

So, the next time you’re about to give feedback or direction, pause for a moment and consider: is this motivating or demotivating? That small adjustment could make all the difference in how your message is received—and ultimately, in the success of your team.

Author: Jamie York, jamie@peakgravityleadership.com

Chad Truby